Meet Ulrika Johnson’s baby: Malcolm
When I see a new Malcolm, the question is - is he helping Malcolms, or hurting Malcolms?
Malcolm X - he helped us.
That bloke in the Vicks advert whose mum said ‘Course you can, Malcolm’ - he hurt us.

Ulrika Johnson is probably spelt Jonsson. Anyway, her new baby is Malcolm
Ulrika Johnson’s new baby (or is Jonsson’s?):
The news that Ulrika Johnson (Jonsson?) had called her baby Malcolm seems neutral.
A celebrity has called their baby ‘Malcolm’ - that helps us.
That celebrity is the woman who hosted a reality TV where a bachelor had to choose a wife from the contestants - but turned them all down to marry Ulrika. That hurts us.
Kerry Katona: shut up
But Kerry Katona has just weighed in: “Now I like old-fashioned names, but I have to say that Malcolm is not one of my favourites. It’s quite a nerdy name. Let’s hope the other kids aren’t mean to him when he goes to school.”
That’s Kerry Katona, who, according to Wikipedia, has:
- Drug problems
- Tabloid exposes
- Smoked while pregnant
- Was voted second worst celebrity mother
- Was voted most irritiating person in Britain
- Was voted fourth most hated person in Britain
- Was voted most hated woman according to other women.
- And who called her own children Maxwell, which is a type of coffee.
And she’s worried about other people’s kids being mean to their offspring?
LOOK IN THE MIRROR.