Stuff about me. Probably not that interesting, to be honest …
Meet Ulrika Johnson’s baby: Malcolm
When I see a new Malcolm, the question is - is he helping Malcolms, or hurting Malcolms?
Malcolm X - he helped us.
That bloke in the Vicks advert whose mum said ‘Course you can, Malcolm’ - he hurt us.

Ulrika Johnson is probably spelt Jonsson. Anyway, her new baby is Malcolm
Ulrika Johnson’s new baby (or is Jonsson’s?):
The news that Ulrika Johnson (Jonsson?) had called her baby Malcolm seems neutral.
A celebrity has called their baby ‘Malcolm’ - that helps us.
That celebrity is the woman who hosted a reality TV where a bachelor had to choose a wife from the contestants - but turned them all down to marry Ulrika. That hurts us.
Kerry Katona: shut up
But Kerry Katona has just weighed in: “Now I like old-fashioned names, but I have to say that Malcolm is not one of my favourites. It’s quite a nerdy name. Let’s hope the other kids aren’t mean to him when he goes to school.”
That’s Kerry Katona, who, according to Wikipedia, has:
- Drug problems
- Tabloid exposes
- Smoked while pregnant
- Was voted second worst celebrity mother
- Was voted most irritiating person in Britain
- Was voted fourth most hated person in Britain
- Was voted most hated woman according to other women.
- And who called her own children Maxwell, which is a type of coffee.
And she’s worried about other people’s kids being mean to their offspring?
LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
Malcolm Coles on the internet
My own sites
You can see me at:
- Malcolm Coles on Facebook
- Malcolm Coles on LinkedIn
- Malcolm Coles on YouTube
- Malcolm Coles on MySpace
- Malcolm Coles on QDOS
- Malcolm Coles on del.icio.us
Company website
My company website is here:
News stories
News stories that feature me include:
- BBC: One in four ‘touched’ by ID fraud
- Times: JJB Sports faces legal action over price-fixing
- The Register: Broadband claims mislead on speed
- BBC: Children can’ access mobile porn’
- Sky News: Dating website users claim success after going online
- Telegraph: Steer clear of latest 3G phones
- Guardian: Train passengers get bad advice on fares
- BBC: Digital switch awareness is low
- Daily Mail: Crash tests cast doubt on child-seat safety
First blog posts
‘When you hear the long beep, followed by the three small beeps, please leave your message.’ That was the answering machine message of my friend’s mum.
Then there’s the instructions on the work voicemail: ‘Instruct the caller to leave a detailed message, including their name, phone number and address.’ The word ‘detailed’ really is stressed like that. I’m presuming if anyone leaves a message saying ‘It’s Bob, call me’ then an error message cuts in to say it’s not detailed enough and they haven’t left their address.
A first post blog carries equivalent danger: ‘Hi, this is my blog. After the word comments, please leave a detailed comment, including you name and IP address.’ Maybe not. So let’s assume you all know what a blog is. If you’ve come across it before there are any other posts, sorry. Read the ‘About this blog’ post on the right.